Neon Genesis Evangeliham
by JUMBOshrimp
Summary: The most Unholy Crossover


Neon Genesis Evangeli-Ham  
By: JÜMBOshrimp *I apologize to everyone who reads this you are about to get dumber* "This is my first fic and I am not talented at all but I am trying to get beter and as long as it's not the worst thing you ever read than I will be happy  
^_^ Enjoy"  
  
Chapter 1  
  
All was quiet in Tokyo 3, the air had cooled and the incessant buzzing of the cicadas had stopped, all was right except in one small apartment. The apartment belonged to Misato Katsuragi an agent of N.E.R.V. She was out late working on this particular day; nonetheless her apartment was a hotbed of noise and fighting. Asuka was screaming at Shinji who had absolutely no idea what he had done to offend her. Being as dense as he was, he wouldn't have understood if she had explained it anyway, or so was the complex thinking of this 14 year old girl. Shinji was being as useless as ever, doing nothing to quell the situation but profusely apologizing. He should have realized by now that nothing is solved in that manner but it's all he has ever known. In his mind he knew that all the problems in the world were his fault and that there were two solutions. One was to run and the other was to beg forgiveness. He truly is a pathetic creature.  
  
Just then Misato slid in the door and with the mention of a single word the fight fizzled and died.  
  
"Sorry I'm late I've brought food and it's nothing instant either. I also bought you kids some presents, you can have them after we eat." Misato said sounding quite tired.  
  
"Thank god" said Asuka. I was really getting tired of that instant menchloaf"  
  
Everyone ate their dinner as Misato talked about her day only being interrupted on the rare occasion by Asuka who had to tell her what an Idiot Shinji had been during the day which was followed by a quick "I'm sorry" rebuttal from Shinji.  
  
The dinner that night had gone with remarkable speed, which is to be expected, when ninety percent of the food you eat is something instant mixed with ramen. The dishes were cleaned and put away as everyone thanked Misato for not cooking, while they may not have actually said that it certainly was implied.  
  
Misato sat the children at the table requesting them to close their eyes. Excitedly she laid a brown cardboard box on the table. The box had holes punched in it and rustling could be heard from within.  
  
"Can we get this over with already" requested Asuka in her typical I've got better things to do tone of voice.  
  
Shinji as ever remained silent pondering in his mind what the gift could be and why anyone would give something to the bane of humanity that is Shinji Ikari.  
  
"Ok, You can open your eyes now" Misato said, her voice full of excitement.  
  
The kids opened their eyes slowly and with all the apprehension that a gift from Misato deserves. Before them on the table was the box. Shinji let out a sigh of relief once he realized it wasn't ticking.  
  
"Wh-what is it Misato" asked Shinji even though he was sure it couldn't be anything good.  
  
Asuka let out an annoyed growl even though she really didn't have anywhere else to be or anything to do. Misato grasped the top of the box and slowly lifted it to reveal a small metal cage. On the bottom of the cage were woodchips that smelled of cedar and a cardboard tube most likely from a roll of paper towels. Within the tube were 2 small balls of fluff.  
  
"What is this" Asuka asked, her voice full of annoyance.  
  
Pen-Pen waddled over cocking his head at the cage. Misato lifted the door on the front of the cage and removed the creatures from their cozy home. Each fuzz ball was a different color. One was orange and seemed to be annoyed at being awoken in such an abrupt manner. The other was brown and tried to hide itself by curling into a little ball.  
  
"They are your new pets," said Misato  
  
"Pets?" questioned Shinji. He was nervous about the prospect of having to take care of something. Being that he had never received love as a child could he even provide love to this tiny creature?  
  
"They're Hamsters" Misato's voice was full of glee. "The higher ups at N.E.R.V thought it would be good for you kid's to have something to care for and ease your minds".  
  
She handed the brown one to Shinji and the orange one to Asuka. The orange one looked up at Asuka. For the first time Asuka could see the full body of the hamster and realized that it was a rodent.  
  
"Ach Vermin!" she screamed as she dropped the poor creature to the floor.  
  
Pen-Pen immediately started chasing the hamster snapping at it. Misato jumped into the action holding pen-pen back and picking up the visibly shaken creature.  
  
"ASUKA Don't be so childish" Misato yelled, "It won't Hurt you"  
  
Asuka certainly didn't like being yelled at or being forced to hold a rat. She stood up with such force that she knocked the chair down behind her. She stormed off to her room in the way only a teenage girl could. She absolutely despised the Japanese architecture that surrounded her, knowing the best way to purvey disgust is to slam a door, not sliding a door shut.  
  
"Tha-nks Misato" Shinji said Meekly as he studied the creature in his hands. "Where did they come from?"  
  
Misato stroked the poor terrified hamster and gently placed it back in it's cage.  
  
"The N.E.R.V scientists were running some sort of tests on them and when they were finished they were going to terminate their employment" said Misato not really having a better way to describe the fact that they were going to be killed. "So I pulled a few strings and got them to be given to the Eva pilots."  
  
"So Ayanami has one too and Touji as well?" Shinji inquired.  
  
"Yes Shinji there were enough for all of you." "Oh I almost forgot here take these." Misato handed Shinji a small wheel for the hamster to run in as well as a water bottle to attach to the side of the cage. "Well I have a big tomorrow, I'm going to take a bath and head to bed." With that Misato was gone.  
  
Shinji Held the creature in his flattened palms staring at the life form that would now be totally dependant on him. He wanted to speak to it but He didn't know what to say or why he would even think to talk to something that probably wouldn't understand him anyway. He laughed to himself "I guess it would be kind of like talking to Asuka". The hamster slowly raised his head and looked Shinji right in the eye. It seemed to understand him. Shinji felt closeness and emotions that he had never felt before. Something in his life now loved him and was loved by him unconditionally. With that thought and a gentle petting Shinji put the hamster down in the cage to sleep or do whatever hamsters do when people aren't around to play with them. 


End file.
